Getting to Know You (me)

So finally my computer is working again!!! Yay!!!

The Past few weeks i have been forced to see myself. I like what i see but not me reactions.  I noticed that when it comes to my life i tend to worry a lot and not just live. I make the assumptions and sometimes they are totally wrong. Also i judge men a lot and i don't take the time to get to know them and i didn't like that so now i am slowing things down.. I am gonna live and work on building my brand ( me as an artist) I am a awesome person and i shouldn't care if i am liked or not as long as i like me. I have friends that think i am cool. And i need to give others time to get to know me and i them!! No more Hiding!!!!

In this life change i am taking some trips!!  I am planning to go to LA to see my Best Friend.. Hopfully i will get to make some connections. So i am trying to get new headshots by then and business cards. Also i am hitting the gym to workout and little!! Not to totally trim down but i can tone!!  I am focusing on the Brand that is Me and what makes me marketable.  I am also gonna head back to NYC to see some friends and audition for somethings and my family is totally supportive of these moves and i love it!!!  I am opening the box and getting out there. 

I think we should all Get Out There and let our lights shine.

She 

The Real Thing... Love

Love  has  been the subject among me and my friends lately. Its one of the subjects i am really passionate about. Life has changed alot over the years. And the dating scene has really changed.

When I was growing up it was about be co-dependent with your partner. The man took care of the home and the woman supported him by maintaining the home.Even if she had a job they worked as a team to keep the house running. ( i got all of this in a single parent home). So i dont have an issue with my man going to work and  if i dont have to work making sure he had breakfast before he left, making sure he comes home to a clean home and a meal... washing his clothes. Cause he's a king in his castle. Thats not saying he runs me i enjoying it! just i enjoy going to work and helping with bills. Some men support there women working and helping cause he know she got his back just as he got hers...TEAM WORK!!!

Now days women are independent and say they dont need men they have there own cars and can provide for them self!!! i am cool with that. I work and i am getting myself together!!  But i know what its like to have a Man that wants to be in his place and provide and take care of me, protect me. Then there are some women who have a good man and still go out and cheat, they think they have the right to because they have been hurt!! WOW what happen to treat others how you want to be treated??  Believe it or not Men that are hurt wont trust their women just like the women wont trust their men. And some men cheat because we as women have become so independent they go out to find that woman that will make them feel like kings and needed.

So you could say okay i am a good woman i dont cheat i treat him right why he stepping out??? Have you asked him what he needs from you in the relationship or about his past to see where he is broken. And if you know this information what have you done as a woman to build him up? or help  repair that broken place?
And as a man did you take the time to get to know everything about your woman's past and wants for her future? I feel like these days we jump into things so fast without know who we are letting in..
Take time  to be a friend to your partner. Its a great feeling to know your totally open with them and they are open with you so that he/she feels they can come to you with anything and get an open response. I feel that if you put it all on the table then there are no surprises in the end.

I know for me i want someone i can run and tell my secrets to someone that i can be real with about the things that hurt me. or my fears. I think it will keep the arguing down if you can talk to them like one of your friends. I want my man to have the same freedom with me.  So instead of my running to the girls and him running to the guys we get to keep our relationship between us. And if we need guidance then we go to God about it. Love is not tricky or hard when your honest with each other.

FYI There are alot of  good guys in the world and alot of good women... Well all need to just be real and honest and open our hearts to the possibility of The Real Thing... LOVE

       

Love and let Love, Love you Back
SHE

Rejection.......Honesty

The fear of rejection we all deal with it.... some people avoid it and others embrace the fear  and hide. ME i side step or find a way to make  it less obvious.  Like right now i like someone i use to be  involved with and i wont tell them i dance around it. I come up with other things to call it. My fear is that they dont want to get involved with me again... since well they were just involved and well some people dont give second chances, luckily for me they have been without a phone for a few days and i have had time to go over my feelings and thoughts. I feel if the door opens i  will lay it all out and take the bullet i am sure is coming. i mean we are cool and we make jokes and we are great friends but taking that step into the beyond friends zone. 

honesty is not always the easiest way out cause its the hardest thing to do! But it feels good when its over no matter the outcome.holding things in causes confusion and lets just be honest not knowing something can lead your mind to crazy places. So wouldnt it be better to have all the cards on the table. no games. unlike the one i am playing currently cause well i  feel i want a guy i cant have. we dont know what may happen things could turn out great and i start a new chapter in my life... you could too whatever you have been dancing around stop!!! and go for it!!

This week to come i suggest looking fear in the face and saying back off and we should all go after things we fear rejection from. weather its a job or a raise, or a person or trip.. take the leap and see what the outcome is. you fill better you tried and you can also let your inner strength come out and rejection wont feel so bad. THINK THE BEST PREPARE FOR THE WORST!!! 

As for me i will keep you posted! their are somethings i need to get done with my career and, with my life and with my friend!

Go Forth and be Brave, i believe in you!!!!! 

SHE

Read between the lines.....

TWO post day!!! ahhhhhhh

So this week so far has been cool! I am learning how to read between the lines with people. you know how people can say one thing but actions are another!! Take me, I have reconnected with this guy from my past and we are cool and i still have feelings for him but i am not moving on them because he made it clear that he doesnt want to be in a relationship period.... But his actions say different. i have a nickname he gets made if we dont talk and he gets excited when he knows he made me smile. See that makes me feel like i should move on my thoughts..

I have noticed that people say one thing out their mouth but our bodies tell on us all the time. He could already know how i feel and be waiting on me to say  something. In a non relationship example when you go on an audtion( or job interview ) you can read the person you know sometimes when you did or did not get the gig.

Life is like chess we need to start watching our moves and the moves of others. it's like using our spidy senses to go beyond the words.like if someone tells you they dont care somewhere deep down they do, but choose not to say something for lots of different  reasons. 1) they wanna save your feelings so you wont worry about hurting them 2) fear. the unknown is a fear factor for alot of people we dont know what will be the result of the choices or actions we make. We also dont know how they will effect others. That doesnt mean dont go out and live and not make choices..I AM DOWN FOR TAKING RISKS cause you never know what your walking away from all choices better you and build you up (good or bad)....

so remember say what you mean cause if not your body will tell on you... lol

SHE 

The Hook...

So i was watching How I Met Your Mother... and this episode was about the Hook.. What is the hook you ask? The Hook: the invaluable leash you have on someone. This person can be an ex or just someone you don't really like but you know they will be there for you emotionally when you break up with someone or when  your lonely.

It made me wonder if i had someone on a hook or if i was on someones hook. As bad as the hook seems we all have one and sometimes they are dangerous. i mean if the the person u run to falls for you it could cause alot of heart break when you find someone you really want to be with. Now dont get me wrong  we all need that person we can lean on when were down but if it's like them coming over and you two watch movies cuddled up and end up making out and the next day you dont have feelings for them or even want to try anything with them then they may be your hook.....just some thought!! 

Love ya!

 SHE

 

Good Friday..... Soap Box....

Before i go into this a few house keeping things : 1) Happy Good Friday! 2) To my Best friend awesome stand up act!!! for you peeps out there who wanna see it  look up Adanna.K (on youtube) there is only to vids it's the most recent one. 3) sorry for no blog yesterday i was so busy then when i got home i was tired!!! but still love ya!!

Ok!

So it's Good Friday and I am having a good week so to keep things on the happy mood i have to vent a little! This is not to make anyone upset or angry i just feel that holding things in is not healty and u should tell the person that hurts u or upset you that they did so not to make them feel bad but to make you feel better... okay  but this i am sharing is because its sorta funny... A few posts back i told you guys about the guy i liked ( all i said was i liked him thats all) Well he is suppose to be helping my mom move stuff around our house today ( i guess). I was sleep my mom comes to my part of the house and says ummm it would be awkward for you to pick him up from his gf house right? ummm is that even a question. Come to find out they have been talking all night ( like me and him use too miss those days) really you talk to my mom while your at the girls house WOW. so out of pure curiosity i ask hey mom did he ask about me?  mom looks at me smiles and said No. So now your you have to be thinking why do you like this guy? well thats a post for another day!  but to give you some insight i am trying to date other guys it's not working idk why but yea!!!
On a good note i have a job interview today!!!!  yay all about moving forward and getting to a place of happiness with me. Being independent again. Nothing feels better than being able to stand on your own and say i did this. So this weekend i charge you guys to be happy at all costs. Its Resurrection Sunday. So in the story line of the weekend lets kill all bad and evil energy and raise up all the happiness, and love and joy in our lives.

Love you be totally blessed
SHE

Rainy Day.....Wonders

The Rain washes away my pain like a shower from  God giving me strength to push forward. its  cleansing nature soothes my heart. Like a gentle  kiss between strangers i am lifted....- Garrika  (she)


mmm i love the rain it opens me to write ( as you see above)  as i write it is storming like no other. I cant help but think about all the  couples and bedtime stories being read ( its almost 8pm) the cuddling with loved ones.. its nice.Then there is always the downside people that are stuck in this storm weather in their car or  waiting for the bus. They dont see the beauty in this weather. It's like mother nature saying okay i have had it with the nasty dirty things and now i am getting rid of it.. its almost like crying. crying is a release of pain guilt even anger. Its a fresh start for your body to move on to the next thing. and sometimes we hold in pain because we dont want to loose the memory or we think that moving on will make the thing that hurt us less important... To me thats not true tears is the way we make space the way we start over the way we water our lives. we dont forget what put us there but we can plant something new in the ground it left. like a lost loved one or child or job even.. once you rain (cry) you can plant new life into that spot and move on  with a memory of happiness and of growth ( cause you learn from everything) It feels like the end of the world and the end of love and life but its not..... There is always more love and life. you can help someone with your story.
Yep Rain is a healer  we should embrace it...

Love ya and may you be blessed,
She